Aunt Joan

You busted a gut laughing and tried to keep my mother’s embarrassment underground when we saw Whoopi Goldberg live on stage singing “Around…the World…in Eighty Motherfucking Days…”

And…it may or may not have gotten worse from there. But I will never give up the memory of your laugh…ever…

Holy shit…

That laugh was awesome. When it was wholehearted? Nothing held back? It was…loud, clear, and happy.

I…Think…you were there….when we saw “Riverdance”? me…my mom…Deb… (come at me, I fucking dare you)…was it just…mom and Deb?

I fell in love with Eileen Ivers…because she had a voice with her fiddle that I try to capture in my words and fail…

You had to be there dammit…weren’t you…?

Dammit…

Dammit.

I know you were there when we went to see Takarazuka…

Least…you…me…and mom…

Holy….

Dammit…

I’m sorry…I’m sorry I never got a chance to see you much after the stroke…

…and I can’t…find…where you’re buried…if you are….I’ve tried…but I think…

…what I think…is evil…

…And yes. I want my “godfather” to rot…

This…

This…I’d kill to sing for you. But I’ve not the voice anymore…never did…but…

Thank you. May you rest well. And may you have finally found peace. I… miss you… so much…

*fucking…yank*

 

 

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